How to help friends or family struggling with debt

There are countless reasons why someone might end up in debt. Whether it’s a change in employment, increased living costs, falling victim to scams, or getting caught in spiraling interest payments, debt can happen to anyone—including your friends and family.

Many people struggle with debt alone, and it's often accompanied by feelings of shame and isolation.  So, how can you help a loved one struggling with debt? Read on to learn more.

Signs someone is struggling with debt

Debt affects everyone differently and can present in various ways. A friend or family member might struggle with debt if they:

• Leave mail unopened or ignore phone calls: They may be avoiding collection calls and overdue bills.

• Change their spending habits: Sudden shifts in how someone spends money might indicate they’re trying to manage debt.

• Avoid talking about money: People struggling with debt often find it difficult to discuss their financial situation.

• Ask to borrow money: Frequent requests for loans from friends and family could indicate financial constraints or overwhelming debt.

• Have changes in their health: There’s a link between money and mental health. Financial stress can lead to physical and mental symptoms like anxiety and insomnia.

• Sell personal possessions: If someone is selling their belongings, it might be a sign they’re trying to gather funds to pay off debt.

• Withdraw from social activities: Frequently avoiding social activities that require spending money can indicate financial difficulties.

These signs alone don't necessarily mean someone is struggling with debt, but a combination of several can be a good indicator of financial stress. At the end of the day, you know your friends and family best—if their behaviour suddenly changes, there could be something wrong.

How to talk about debt with friends or family

Talking about money can be intimidating—even for those who aren’t struggling financially. But, the first step to resolving a problem is acknowledging that it exists. Discussing finances with your friend or family member can help create a safe space to share challenges and reduce the stigma surrounding debt. Here are some tips to help you navigate this conversation:

• Try not to judge: Judgement can make people feel ashamed of their debt, but remember that it’s not a reflection of their worthiness as a person. Approach the conversation with empathy and remind them that struggling with debt doesn’t define their value.

• Choose the right time and place: Find a private, comfortable setting to discuss financial matters. Try to find somewhere casual with little to no cost of entry to prevent creating further financial pressure.

• Be patient: They might not be ready to talk immediately. Respect their pace and let them know you’re there whenever they’re ready.

• Be open: Don’t be afraid to share your own mistakes. Dealing with debt can be isolating, and it’s helpful to feel less alone.

• Offer to help: Different situations call for different types of support, so ask or make suggestions instead of assuming you know best. Instead of giving advice, ask how you can best help them.

Should you lend money to friends or family in debt?

Lending money to a loved one might seem like a quick and easy solution to debt, but it can strain your relationship—especially if you need to dig into your emergency fund or take on debt yourself to help them. The borrower might also struggle to pay you back if they haven’t made changes to their budget or still have high-interest debt to manage.

A good rule of thumb is to never lend more than you are willing to lose. Keep this in mind if you’re asked to guarantee or co-sign debt for a loved one. Even if it’s for a necessary expense like a car loan or a line of credit to enhance their education, be cautious. If they fall behind on payments, you could become responsible for the debt and risk impacting your own credit and financial wellbeing.

How can you help a loved one struggling with debt?

There are many ways to help someone struggling with debt that don’t involve direct financial support. Consider things like:

• Helping them create a budget: Sometimes creating a budget can be daunting. Helping them cut down expenses and set financial goals gives them a great jumping off point for debt freedom.

• Being their “budget buddy”: Help them stay accountable to their debt repayment goals. You may even improve your own financial situation by doing so!

• Advocating for less expensive activities: Suggest more affordable options in your friend group to make socializing more accessible.

• Researching professional debt solutions: Sometimes budgeting isn’t enough to help someone get out of debt. Helping them find the right professional debt solution for their situation could take a huge weight off their shoulders.

A Licensed Insolvency Trustee can provide a range of debt solutions to handle financial concerns. At Grant Thornton Limited, we encourage people to bring a support person to their free consultation. You can book a free consultation for yourself or someone else on our website. Have questions now? Call us at 1-844-448-3328 to speak to a debt solutions team member

Debt can be a challenging and isolating experience, but with the right support and resources, it’s possible to find relief and start on the path to financial stability. By being empathetic, patient, and proactive, you can make a significant difference in the lives of those you care about.